David A. Lingwood, April 18, 1941-February 17, 2011

Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still. For they must needs be present, that love and live in that which is omnipresent. In this divine glass, they see face to face; and their converse is free, as well as pure. This is the comfort of friends, that though they may be said to die, yet their friendship and society are, in the best sense, ever present, because immortal. 


--William Penn, More Fruits of Solitude 


On February 17, 2011 Mark's father passed away.

I don't remember ever meeting Dave, and in fact sometimes it's hard to forget that Dave was not always my dad-in-law. In my memory, I've always had two dads: my dad, and Mark's dad. I used to hang out at the Lingwood's house in college, even before Mark and I started dating, and sometimes I accompanied the family to various Seattle events. One time I went to gasworks parks to celebrate the Fourth-of-July and watch the fireworks. Other times Dave and Toni would treat Mark and I to our favorite Teriyaki dinner on the Ave in the university district and when Dave and Toni would come see Mark at band performances, I felt like they were coming to see me too. One summer the whole family went to see a concert at a beer festival, but I hadn't yet turned 21 and it seemed like they weren't going to let me in. Dave just shrugged and told them I was his daughter. Then when I had to wear a special "underage" bracelet he teased the dickens out of me.

I remember Dave coming to football games, basketball games, volleyball games, opening day for crew, softball games, and parades. It was, of course, because he was an AVID Husky fan, but I also know it was because he was AVID Mark fan. Over the last month I've learned more and more stories about how Dave would go to track meets, sporting events--anything extra curricular that he could make it to, he was there. From the sounds of it, liking the Huskies meant that supporting his kids now had the added bonus of interesting sports, rather than the humor of watching pee wee basketball. He was there in every way for Mark and his sister Stephanie. In our third year of college the Husky Marching Band celebrated its 75th anniversary, and Dave got to march alongside his son, two generations of Husky Drummers. 

When Mark and I announced our engagement, I do remember Dave just saying "Well that's great!" and that was pretty much his only comment on the subject. He was happy for us, and he didn't have any other comments. He didn't tell us how to run our wedding, how to structure our marriage, or how to live our lives. He was just truly happy for us. When Mark and I did get married, there is one picture of him and my dad and you can see how very happy they are for both of us. Well, either that or they are glad the whole wedding is finally over and it was time to get to the champagne! (Yes I know they are hidden by our moms... but isn't that so fitting?)

In 2009 Mark finished his Ph.D. and Dave and Toni and Stephanie were able to fly down for the UCSB formal graduation ceremony. When Mark walked across the stage, Dave openly wept with pride at seeing his son achieve something so great. 

Most recently, Dave and Toni made a trip down to LA and Palm Springs. Dave got to see LMU where Mark works as "Dr. Lingwood" and we took Dave to bask in the 80degree sun. He was admitted to the ICU when he returned and eleven days later, passed away in his sleep. 

For his funeral service, I had the privilege of helping to assemble a slide show of pictures. Many of these pictures were emailed to me by family and a lot were taken right from Dave's computer. Over a week, I started to slowly put together some family stories. 

Before Dave and Toni were engaged, Dave would write letters to Toni. Sometimes his letters would be as long as ten pages and supposedly they would profess his love for her! Wouldn't you just love to get your hands on one of those letters? I found some of their wedding pictures and they are fantastic. Dave and Toni spent 45 Valentine's Days together, and were married for nearly 45 years. Through the pictures and stories, there can only be one conclusion: they lived an amazing lifetime together.

Eventually Dave and Toni ended up in Seattle, where they raised both kids, teaching them to love the water, the forest, the Earth. Dave raised the man I love, and he did a really good job. As for me, I will always remember Dave this way, as his best, off camping somewhere with a good book, a lake filled with fish, and his family nearby.

Both Mark and Stephanie spoke at Dave's service. Everyone who was there saw what a fantastic job they did. They truly honored him with their words, their memories, and their hearts. Mark said one thing in particular regarding his father that I think sums it all up. 


"He was a good man."






Dave's obituary can be read here but I'm not sure how much longer the link will be active so you can read the text below. 



David A. Lingwood was born April 18, 1941, in Seattle to parents Thomas J. Lingwood and Elizabeth R. (Watkinson) Lingwood. An outdoorsman from the beginning, he spent his early days playing in the woods, listening to baseball on the radio, and tending to the tomatoes and corn on the family's Normandy Park farm. He became pals with his grandfather, John Edwood Watkinson, as a teen, and the two of them shared many adventures together: fishing, hunting, learning to drive, and his only somewhat disastrous first crew cut.

After he graduated from Highline High School, he attended the University of Washington. There he joined Acacia Fraternity, met his wife-to-be, Toni, and became a proud member of the Husky Marching Band; years later, he stood on the field with his son, Mark, as they both played in the drumline for the Band's 75th anniversary. His post-college years took him to Colombia with the Peace Corps and to Stanford University, where he earned his Ph.D in Communications and discovered his love of computers and data.

After a series of communications research jobs that took him to the University of Michigan and then back to Seattle, he settled down at Fircrest School, a DSHS facility where he spent the final 20 years of his career. He and Toni also raised their daughter, Stephanie and son, Mark in Seattle. The close proximity to both mountains and sound meant that the family spent countless hours camping, fishing, and sailing; he was also a fixture at Stephanie and Mark's various sports events, and could boom a "Go, Steph/Mark!" across a full-sized track.


David passed away on February 17, 2011 and is survived by his wife, Toni, kids Stephanie and Mark, daughters-in-law Julia and Kristen, and various other relatives and friends. Their lives have been forever touched by his caring, wit, and ability to wordsmith a well-turned phrase or pun. A memorial service will be held Friday, February 25, 2011 at Washington Memorial Park: 16445 International Blvd., SeaTac, WA 98188. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Dave's memory to the University of Washington Husky Marching Band.